Is My Gaydar Improving?

I made a new friend recently. She is a teller at the bank where my company takes is deposits each day and I am getting deposit trained, so we just met. She's fun, personable, bubbly, sarcastic, pretty, and  has a cool personality. I like when I meet people like this; people I don't have to entertain because they are entertaining enough on their own. It makes it more fun to get to know someone.  Anyway, we got to taking, found each other on facebook, then I invited her to a gig of mine I had two nights ago, we exchanged numbers and she actually showed up to the gig. I thought that was really nice of her, especially seeing that she lives like 35-40 minutes away from where the show was. 

At the show, I happened to see her as she was walking in with her flamboyantly gay guy friend and we started talking. I made a comment about how far she had to drive to get here, and she said something to the effect of "I came out for you", then she paused, her and her friend both laughed, (so did I, to myself, all ready to make a gay joke to her), and then she half way mumbled, "actually that was 12 years ago." The reason this is especially funny is that I had a inkling that she was gay since the first time I spoke with her one on one. She made a reference to me having a "boyfriend?, girlfriend?" And lets be honest, only gay people acknowledge the possibility of dating someone who is not the opposite sex. A few other comments had me guessing, but there were no real tells on Facebook that I could find. lme, after she said that comment, i paused for like 10 seconds then finally screamed out, "I KNEW IT!" I couldn't help myself, it was a triumphant moment for me. She does not look gay, and later described herself as a lipstick lesbian, so it must mean my gaydar is getting better!!

She swears she put out clues on purprose and I only know because she let me know. But I won't let her steal my thunder. I Sherlock Holmes'd that shit! Haha. After my gig, I sat with her and her friend over a hard cider or two, and discussed whether I was gay or not. At first, I tried to make her guess but she refused that game. So I starting dropping heavy hints, like calling a woman at the bar hot and eventually just saying, "well I'm gay too." After that was out, we pretty much only talked about being gay, how long we'd been out, a lot about sex (her more than me), and inadvertently i found myself flirting. Although, if she were a straight woman I think I would have acted and treated her the same way. I'm a friendly and outgoing person. It only came off as flirting because we're both gay. I started feeling bad though, because O.C. wasn't there (she left after I played b/c she had school in the morning), and my fnew friend didn't know I had a girlfriend and might have been getting the wrong idea. So I called myself out for flirting, and told them I had a girlfriend. Then I kind of felt like an ass the rest of the night, but she said she figured I had one because most musicians are assholes. OUCH! I think she was joking...

Anyways, she came to my open mic night that I host tonight, and we were cool. She's a very openly sexual person and I'm still gaging how to take that, but she's fun and cool and I like her. I'm sticking with my first theory, that my gaydar is in fact improving. Go me for knowing my own kind!

Past, Present, Future

So I spent my Saturday night cleaning my room with O.C. It's my first attempt to get organized in preparation for moving out of my parents and in with her. It's a big step and a necessary one. I'm almost 25, it's time to grow up.

So while I was cleaning my room, I kept stumbling upon little notes from Natalie. I threw one out, and kept buried a few others. It was a weird feeling. I felt guilty not throwing them all away, but part of me wants to keep them as a memento. Even though it ended poorly, probably never should have happened and will never happen again, there is a small part of me that likes to remember that time in my life. I don't know if that's wrong or bad, or if it's normal. I also don't want to throw it in O.C.'s face, so keeping it out of sight seems like the only way.

O.C. and I are coming up on a year since our first date. It's hard to believe it's been a year already, but at times I feel like I've known her forever. It's been a pretty amazing 365 days. We've been through good and bad, but we've done it together and as corny as that sounds, it's so true. I'm so thankful she is in my life. I really do love her.

She came out to her sister last week. We pretty much assumed she knew already but now she officially knows. She was supportive and I've talked to her since. Everything is still cool. That makes me happy. So now her dad and sister knows. And my mom and sister knows. The jury is still out on either of our remaining parents. Perhaps they know and choose not to acknowledge. No need to find out right now though. Ignorance is bliss.

Alright I have to go watch a friend perform an acoustic show at a coffee shop. Thanks for reading!