Everyone told me the best way to get over Natalie was to meet someone new. A rebound? That's what I thought, but that's not what I found. Reality is kinder to some than others. It's certainly kinder to me than it is Natalie. I kept myself in this isolated place for so long, I banished myself to sadness without ever really taking into consideration the facts. I became dependent, and insecure.
But in a moment of desperation, I let myself out of that darkness. I let myself see beyond right in front of me. That was how I got here in the first place. I failed to see past right in front of me. We both did. I thought I would have a broken heart forever. I thought I'd be damaged and scarred. I thought I'd never be able to trust myself with seeing her again. And then I met someone else. I allowed myself to consider the possibility of someone else and the results were astonishing! I'm not saying I'm in love. I'm not even saying this person I met is the one for me. What I'm saying is I don't need Natalie to be happy. There are other girls out there, who are single, and smart, and funny and capable of loving me the way I deserve. This new girl showed me I have options. And my reality check is better than my denial.
Of course Natalie would never walk away from me. Her denial is better than her reality. And now that I'm on the outside looking in, it's all so very clear to me. I'm glad I felt that pain though. I'm glad that I felt the suffering I did because it taught me about myself. It has made me a better song-writer. And i think it will make me a better person. To know and understand what heartbreak is is an excrutiating, but absolutely necessary part of life. She will always be the first, but because I am able to move on, I know she will not be the last.
So thank you, reality check, for showing me what I'm capable of: happiness.
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