Here's something fun. There is a judge running for reappointment in my county with the best bilboard ever. If I had her name and her power, I'd make a similar billboard. In fact, if I just had a little more money, I might just make one for myself just because! But it'd have to be after I was out completely. And here is why. So on the right hand side is her picture and to the left of that in small block letters its says 'Judge' and then her first and middle name. Then, below that...in GIANT BLOCK LETTERS...it says..DYKE! Now, I know I am more immature than most people, but seeing DYKE that big on a billboard as you are driving is just plain funny! I don't care who you are. Haha I wonder if she'll rule for or against gay marriage? Ah, yes, here she is in her natural habitat of awkward smiles and scribing in her giant law book. I feel like her pen should have a feather on it.
Ok moving on. So I played at my favorite local open mic night on Tuesday. I've been going there for over a year, know the owners and most of the regulars who play or just go to listen. But the other night, there were some out of towners in the crowd. And I only noticed them for one reason, and one reason only. They were clearly lesbians. Haha, is that wrong? I can't help it. I always notice the gays. They of course had no idea we play for the same team, because not only do I look straight, but I was there with my guy friend who is ALWAYS being mistaken as my bf. What a twat block he is! Annnyway, so I played first and for my first two songs the one less gay but still fairly gay looking girl was really attentive and as far as i could tell, enjoying my music. While the more butch-y one was kinda paying attention, kinda laughing, and kinda not listening at all. When it was time to play my last song, which I often introduce as "the transvestite song" I knew two things would happen. One, Butchy would be on high-alert and two, she would not be laughing. The funny thing to me is she thinks I'm just being some close-minded straight asshole, mocking transgendered people, when in fact I'm being a gay asshole, making fun of women with penises. There is a difference! And shit's funny, get over it. So I play, and the whole bar is laughing and enjoying it, even Less Gay Girl likes it. But Butchy, she looks concerned. (Side note: I went to open mic at the local gay bar a few times a year ago and I played this song and got the same response, except this time the whole crowd seemed unamused and pissed at me). By the end of my song, I say how I like my tranny friend and I think she's kinda cute.So it's not like I am saying how weird it is or judging anyone. But whatever. So I finished my set and sat down, waiting to hear them play. Butchy played first, and she was good. I liked her sound and she plays guitar really well. When it was time for her last song, she looked over at me and said "This is my response to Bobbi. And by the way, it's transgendered, not transvestite. But at least you called her a she." She was smiling when she said this, so I felt better about it, not that I was worried. But she ended up singing a serious song about what I'm assuming was herself. But maybe not. Maybe just about someone she knows who's transitioning. It was a pretty song and I'm fairly sure went over most of the middle aged men's heads in the crowd. But after she played I went up to her and told her I liked her songs. And she told me she was a little nervous about my song Bobbi at first, but that she liked that it ended well. Ha! Seeee, I told you I'm not the asshole you thought I was! It's tough being gay without looking gay. People just assume so much about me. And there's no real non-awkward way to say "No, it's cool, I like box too." Maybe I should get that billboard...
Speaking of all things gay, I saw Tegan and Sara in concert recently. I heart them. I know, I know, how lesbian and unoriginal of me. I'll be honest, I started listening to them because one of my gay friends told me about them, but that's not why I like them. (I don't care for Ani DiFranco too much, or Melissa Ethridge and they are gay.) I like T&S because they have awesome, different songs and also because they are really funny and engaging on stage. They connect with their audiences and I like that. I walk away feeling like I know them a little bit and that's cool. That's what I hope for in my own shows. Of course, I actually do know most of my audiences at this point. But maybe one day when I'm famous that will change.
Sometimes I wonder if I would want to be out as a musician. Like, Tegan & Sara are known for being the lesbian girl rockers, and they have a huge following because of it. But it also defines them for the most part and probably limits their audience reach. I guess for now it's not really an issue because I'm not even out to my mom, let alone the whole world. But it is something I think about a lot. It's also an issue for my songwriting. I have a couple songs I've written about girls that I can't sing because I say "she" and "her" and well... that might just give me away. I'm starting to care less, but it's a process. Like everything else in my life.
Wow, I wrote a lot. And I'm still at work. Haha, that's okay I got a lot done today! I'm going back to open mic again tonight. Maybe I'll meet some more lezzies with LGBT lessons for me. Here's for hoping! Oh yeah and....HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY! (Suddenly, I feel incredibly tempted to drop the gay bomb on my dad...hahaha, but i won't).
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