COMING OUT- no really, this time i really did

I can't believe it. I actually did it. I came out to my sister. It was so scary right up until I told her, and then it was a breeze! Haha it helps that she was completely cool about it. Even said she suspected it, which was a surprise to me. I figured she was clueless, but apparently her and my mom have had their suspicions for a while now. My sister and I have always been close but I've never been one to announce my business to her. I just felt it was time to let her in the loop. I'm glad I did. And i was going to tell my mom right after, because I'm pretty sure she already knows but when i got home and asked her to take a walk she put me off and said maybe later. I was on a roll and now I'm like well whatever I guess I'll tell you later. Plus I miss O.C. and am going over her place tonight. So I can't wait around forever. haha. I sound like an impatient bitch but really I'm just needy and there is always tomorrow.

So my sister knows I have a girlfriend. She even guessed who it was. Guess I'm not so discreet after all. Although I really wasn't trying to hide it, just wasn't broadcasting it either. She asked me if I'm still attracted to guys. I said I still find some guys attractive but I have no desire to be with one. I think it comforted her to know that maybe one day I could go back to guys. I didn't say I am and always will be 100% a lesbian. I mean, I don't think I can guarantee that for anything. But overall, she took it very well. Said I'm still the same Malo to her. That made me smile. I wasn't worried she'd disown me or anything, but there is always that uncertainty looming. She did however mention that it would be appreciated on my mom's part if I did not tell my dad right now. Seeing that I still live at home and he is homophobic, we are on the same page with that. No need to tell him something that A. he doesn't really deserve to know about me and B. he will just hold against me and make everyone around him miserable as a result.

So I plan to tell my mom very soon, if not tonight then tomorrow. After that, I really have nothing else to be afraid of. My dad is too oblivious to ever figure out on his own. My closest friends and even some of my casual friends know. I mean I'm not going to go around wearing rainbows and having PDA with O.C., but it's just such a relief to know that I can be myself around those closest to me, and the rest really isn't that serious.

Okay gotta go for now. Happy Memorial Day/Coming Out Day! haha