Light bulb moment!

Ok, after careful consideration and discussions with most of my close friends, I think I figured it out. My big confusion really isn't so confusing after all. I THINK she does like me. A lot. I mean who goes on a date for nine hours with someone they don't like? On their only day off?

I think what's throwing me off is that the physical part of a relationship has always been where my focus has been. Not that I'm some slut. But sex has become kinda casual for me over the years. For one reason or another. When I was younger, like in high school I thought it was something special. I was waiting. But life happens, You get hurt. And you lose a little bit of that thinking, until you end up seeing things completely different than how you started. I think it has become that way for a lot of people. Especially when trying to figure out your sexuality. I basically started just experimenting (for lack of a better word) in college. You do it when you're drunk, even though you think about it when you're sober, kinda thing.

Anyways, so in a twisted way, I'm taking her taking it slow approach personal, because everything I've known to this point has been shown through sex. The thing is, I don't just wanna sleep with her. I haven't even really allowed myself to think about that. I really like her. And i don't want to rush it. I don't want to ruin it. I didn't even think I was going to kiss her the first time we hung out, until the moment when I actually did. I think that probably has her doing even less with me now. I get the feeling that was out of character for her, so now she's trying to reel it back in.

So I think I'm just going to try and stop over thinking things so much. I could be completely off on this theory of mine. But it really doesn't matter. She keeps talking to me. And if she wants to hang out again, we can. As soon as I stop sweating the small stuff, I think things will go smoother. Here's for hoping!