I miss my dog

My dog died Thursday morning. I watched her take her last breath. It was the hardest thing I think I've ever had to do. No one else was around and there was nothing I could do to help her. I just held her paw and pet her and told her how much everyone loved her and was going to miss her.

Her health had been declining over the last year. She was 12 and a half, with diabetes, prone to seizures and growing weaker everyday. I knew if she made it through the night we'd be taking her to the vet to be put down in the morning. But she never made it that long. Heidi took her final, tired breath at 3:40am on January 13th, 2011. Just before she died, I said a prayer. I asked God to take her out of this world as soon as possible, so she didn't have to suffer any longer than she already had. I could see the fear on her face and pain in her eyes. She was scared and confused. I just wanted it to be over for her. Within minutes of my prayer, she died. I've gone back and forth on my religious beliefs over the last few years, but I truly believe He answered my prayer that night.

I cried for nearly an hour, with my dead dog by my side. I texted O.C. as she was dying. It was so hard to be there, alone, watching my puppy suffer. She woke up and told me to hug her and just be there for her. So I did. After that, I just laid down next to her and tried to sleep so that the morning would come sooner.

About an hour and a half later, when my mom woke up for work, she came out and I told her about Heidi's passing. We both cried and I called my sister to tell her the news. I could barely choke out the words, "Heidi died this morning." It's gut-wrenching. Losing a pet is like losing a family member as far as I am concerned. She was a loyal and friendly dog, who was always there to listen, never judged me, never had a mean bone in her body, and loved unconditionally.

I will miss my puppy forever, but I know that she is in a better place, playing with all the other beloved pets from other families. And we will be together again one day.  I love you Heidi, wherever you are.